The unexpected but necessary re-routing of life

I've spoken about experiencing change before here, and here. I'm fascinated by how it can show up in your life as micro-changes, like traffic detours, or like macro-changes, such as big life-stuff that includes relocation, birth, death, relationship endings happen. 

At the root of these micro/macro change experiences, there's the catalysing force: personal choice or change as something 'imposed' upon us.

Disclaimer: this is not to subvert or justify when nasty, unjust things happen, but to open up awareness to how there can be unforeseen consequences that bring us to a new perspective about the role of change and challenge in our experiences. 

So if you've been following my journey for the last few years, you may have noticed the significant and constant motion of change in my life…

The catalyst? Several threads, a one, in particular, was the conclusion of a two-year contract. 

Was this simply a result of something being 'imposed' upon me, such as economic (or similar) limitations of the organisation I worked with? 

Perhaps…

Or was it the result of a series of unconscious or (seemingly) insignificant events throughout those 24 months that resulted in the non-renewal of said contract? 

Perspective and time now shows me, it really was the latter. 

I can now surmise that the trials that manifest were a 'wake-up' call from my autopilot, success-at-all costs ambition track I was speeding along in the job. 

My attitude at that time was to make it work for me, even if it was ill-conceived. And haven't we have all played that game once or twice in our lives?  The consequences for me were that my determination to overcome turned back upon me. The full force effect of knuckling down meant that as the experience declined and my efforts ramped up, so did the intensity of the impending collapse. 

And so I did. I collapsed. Mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Yay for complete and utter annihilation. #itsfunnynow #sortof

So what a lovely amount of time, patience and retrospect means is that I look less at the fall out at the time, and more at how the turn of events put me on a particular pathway. 

I see it now, as a necessary re-routing of life. 

To some extent, I know that I subconsciously chose actions and decisions that would bring about such challenges. How? Well, this wasn't a solo performance. I was dancing with a co-creator (life) who presented several choose-your-own-adventure pathways. In fact, the end result proved to me that given the same situations again, I would 100% choose those same pathways. Not because I remain stubborn and fixed. But because deep down, I was always following my truth. 

In this way, life shows how it can and will re-route, with or without your permission, until your truth becomes your reality.

For me, the long-term benefits have far outweighed the short-term and initial discomfort/stress. What occurred offered me an opportunity to live my life in a way that is more honest and authentic to me.

It was an initiation into a precious and honoured time where I was able to process where I'd come from and where I hoped to go. I made some honest assessments and hard decisions about the change I would have to make to achieve my future hopes and dreams. It required things that initially felt really tough; cancelling commitments, saying no, disappointing people that otherwise expected things from me, and being OK with it. All of it.

I was able to do the hard work of self-inquiry and intimacy because I had reached the end of my patience and tolerance. Patience with myself, the patterns and repeating lessons, and the general shittyness of it all. 

I wanted to take back my power and reclaim the sovereignty in my life. 

I was ready to evolve these conditions and move forward in my life in a way that offered me more. More possibility, more depth of experience, and more realness - in my external and internal experiences. 

In this way, the re-routing that very much felt like a big bloody problem at the time, was actually a threshold moment in my life. 

Perhaps you can recall such a time? Do you remember how the transition changed or transformed you? Or is it something you are glad is at your back and has been left dead and buried? 

Can you fit it into the bigger picture of your life story? Does it offer a deeper meaning now?

I do love to hear from you, so I invite you to email me and share your experiences. 

For those of you in Edinburgh or traveling this way in the New Year, perhaps you are ready and willing for 2020 to be the year you do Your Life, Your Way. You are invited to a fun evening of creativity and change-making where we will explore the art of Vision Boarding with Feeling, on the first new moon of 2020 - an auspicious and potent time for imagining and dreaming.

Check out all the details HERE.